Smoking is being banned gradually in .nl, starting with public buildings in the early 2000s, and any place where employees work shortly after that. It wasn’t that smoking was being prohibited, but any employee had to be given a smoke-free work environment. Many companies banned smoking completely.

One areas of business was exempt: bars (and coffee shops).

Trainside smoking

Quite a big controversy at the time, Dutch Railways NS were quick to ban all smoking on all trains. This was the only way there were able to guarantee a smoke-free work environment for their employees. You always had smoke free train compartments, but early 2001 all trains were entirely smoke free. There was initial protest, but that quickly faded.

With the ban on smoking in trains came the rookzuilen (smoke pillars) on platforms. Just a big metal stick with a hole for the buds, this is where all the addicts now gather to smoke a quick one before boarding the train. The smookzuilen and rookzones surrounding them are on every platform.

Smoking in bars

Always the last ones to go, bars and restaurants have been able to stave off a smoking ban until July 2008. It was current (2008) minister of health Ab Klink who forced them to become smoke-free. There was outrage! Restaurateurs would lose their livelihoods! Nanny state! But July came and went and the hospitality business did not collapse. Which is what you might have expected, since that has not happened in the countries surrounding us, either. In fact, the ban is hugely succesful thoughout the continent.

There is one odd situation: smoking is also banned in “coffee shops” (i.e. marihuana places).

Bong OK, cigarette bad!

Our current set of laws has created the strange situation where smoking a plain cigarette is illegal inside a coffee shop. Smoking a joint is illegal too, since a joint contains both tobacco and marihuana. But smoking pure weed is fine! And smoking through a bong is fine too! And smoking marihuana through an evaporator is fine as well! No wonder tourists come here in amazement. I am not sure how long this situation is allowed to last, but aforementioned minister Klink has been unable to ban smoking of marihuana.

It is rumoured that public health inspectors have been trained to spot the difference between a pure-weed cigarette and a joint. Booyaa!

Some vestiges of smoker-power have remained. Smoking in your own house is fine, for now. Smoking in bars with a smoke-free zone (for employees!) is allowed as well. Smoking outside is OK too, although even this is being protested. As everywhere else, a smoker is simply doomed. There are now more non-smokers than smokers in .nl and the ratio will only increase over time. If only because smokers, errr, die earlier…

The system in Nederland is funny this way: when you fall ill you can not visit the hospital. This alone might come as quite a surprise to you, depending on your country of origin. Seriously though, when you fall ill you are expected to call a regular huisarts and make an appointment. Naturally, you might often fall ill at night or during a weekend. Even then you are expected to wait until Monday (outside of acute emergencies obviously).

Most Nederlanders accept this state of healtcare as if it’s perfectly normal.

When you have finally made your afspraak, you cycle over to the doctor’s office and wait your turn. You will be pleasantly greeted by other sick people in various stages of decay. After possibly an hour or more, your name comes up.

Medical professionals

Luckily, general doctors/huisartsen/MDs in Nederlands are quite skilled and possibly the best in Europe. If there is something seriously wrong with you, you will receive treatment. If however, you just have a bug, most huisartsen will simply send you away after doing a quick checkup. There seems to be an active policy against medication. Compare to France where the doctor will drug you up something fierce for just about anything! In Nederland you are going to have to be strong-willed to enjoy any kind of drug. It’s almost as though doctors are compensating.

The most famous phrase uttered by huisartsen in this case is “neemt u toch gewoon een paracetamol” or just take an acetaminophen, which is the most common type of pain killer. Throat infection or not, they know that the human body is perfectly capable of healing itself. This might leave you with a sore feeling (no pun intended) after visiting a huisarts. On the plus side: few bacteria in Nederland are resistant to drugs, although this is beginning to change. And on the plusser side: it saves a huge amount of money.

Really really sick

When you are really sick, the huisarts will send you to a specialized professional. He or (rarely) she will work in a hospital and you will need to have a note written by the huisarts. With this note, you call the hospital to get an afspraak. Shocker: even for faily common procedure there is almost always a waiting list. You have a cyst in your belly? Expect to wait six weeks for it to be removed. Other procedures have similar waiting lists. Most people grudgingly accept this state of affairs, which is sad. Hospitals blame the governement, they blame insurance companies and they complete the circle. Nothing gets done about it though, except that people will shop for care in neighbouring countries Belgium and Germany, where waiting lists do not exist. When you meet a specialist in the hospital, you again receive quite excellent care. Doctors are highly skilled, driven, and work insane hours. More about this in a later article.

Emergencies

The ‘huisarts as first line of defense’ strategy doesn’t work in case of an emergency. And luckily, we have a national number named 112. Call this number to send for paramedics, by law they are required to be with you in ten minutes. They will treat you on the spot and/or take you to the emergency room in the nearest hospital. Again, the doctors working here really are very skilled–healthcare when you receive it is of very high quality.

Socialized healthcare

Since the mid-2000s Nederland has a hybrid system of health insurance. The state does not provide it; this is left to insurance companies. But the state regulates their fees; it sets minimum and I believe maximum also (or this is left to the market). The state then provides subsidy for those with a low income. After an initial struggle, this system now seems to be working quite effectively. Some market forces in healthcare allow for cheaper prices and competition, while the government regulations ensure a basic level of care and comparatively cheap help for people who have low income. Most people have extra insurance on top of the state-mandated basispakket (basic package) in which they receive compensation for ‘luxury care’.

So, yes. You can in fact come to Amsterdam and buy pot. Not from some shady dealer, but from a shop with a front door and a PIN machine. For some reason unknown to me, these are called coffee shops. Some even sell coffee. All of ‘em sell weed, marihuana and pot (err wait, these are the same thing). And they sell space cake: cookies or cake baked with THC butter. THC is the active ingredient in marihuana.

This how it works. You gather the courage to walk into a coffee shop. Don’t worry, all staff speak English and see hundreds of customers every day, especially in the city center. Once inside you should see a price list fairly quickly. The various species of weed will be listed, from cheapest (often weakest) to most expensive. It goes without saying that the expensive stuff has the strongest effect. This might often be called “super skunk” or something catchy like that. You order a dose of your choice (“mag ik vijf gram super skunk alstublieft” / may I have five grams of super skunk please) and after paying you are done.

All of this is illegal according to Dutch law. Even so, it is allowed. This odd juxtaposition is called gedoogbeleid and appears to be typically .nl. Our governement acknowledges that (young) people wish to occasionally use marihuana, but is also forced to ‘ban’ the stuff according to European rules. So while legally not allowed, people can buy it just fine.

A few caveats though. You cannot buy more than 30 grams; this is the limit for what is considered personal use. You might like to know how the coffee shop is ever able to have more than this amount in stock, and this is indeed a puzzling affair. Somehow they manage though (wink wink *looks other way*). Also, you can be denied the stuff by the staff. You must be 18 years or older as well. And part of the whole deal is that coffee shops are not allowed to advertise their wares at all. And here we have the explanation as to why they’re called coffee shops. Calling it a marihuana shoppe would be illegal! And we can’t have any of that.

Once you have the little baggie in your posession, you either roll a joint in the coffee shop or put it in your purse. In any event you do not light up outside and puke and make us clean up after you. That is just gross. Believe it or not, someone smoking weed in public is a fairly rare occurance. Some Nederlanders do smoke grass, but they do it in private. You would do good to make it a private affair as well, especially considering that our weed is much, much stronger than any other weed you know.

In the early 21st century, the powers that be have become quite a bit oppressive towards the whole marihuana thing. It will probably never disappear, but more coffee shops are now closing than opening.