Difficult as it may be to comprehend, Amsterdam boasts a phenomenon called the plaskrul or “peeing curl”. This is a warped piece of metal in which men can take a pee. No, I am not making this up.

I have covered interesting peeing phenomena before and I am sure the peeing curl will not be the last.

As it stands, public bathrooms in .nl are a disaster. They are rare to find, and when you do, expensive and dirty. Most Nederlandse people will hold their pee or use one in a restaurant.. Yes, it is that bad.

A peeing curl in Amsterdam

There is one relief for men visiting Amsterdam though. This city has peeing curls, like the one pictured above. And with something named so graphically, there really is no need for me to go into detail.

Wait. Yes, there is.

As a man (I can’t stress this enough) when you feel a need to pee, you can enter one of the peeing curls. (The design is such, that it is quite noticable when the curl is in fact occupied. One of it’s flaws, you might say.) So, when vacant, you enter the curl by walking inside until you can go no further. Note that this step in itself might be difficult, since the curl at this point is most likely covered in pee, vomit, excrement and toilet paper. You think I am kidding? Ha!

So when you have crossed that threshold, you are free to unzip and relieve yourself through peeing. Usually there will be a slab of concrete and a tiny hole for the pee to drain into. You think I am kidding? Ha!

On a typical .nl day, the stench emanating from the curl is tolerable, provided you don’t linger for too long. But on a typical day is not in fact when the curls are used most often. This in fact happens most on hot summer days when lots of people are in town. You are free to guess what this does to the odors involved. Lucky for you, smell-by-internet-protocol is still a long ways off.

I am not sure what to make of the curls. The idea is brilliant, but the execution is frightening. The upshot is: in true phenomenon style, there are only ten curls or so in Amsterdam. So in a way you’d be lucky to stumble into even as much as three. But then again, there’s luck and there’s luck…

This peeing cross does what you think it does: it lends male bladder-pinching pedestrians relieve their pressure in a somewhat hygienic fashion. They are ubiquitous at events, but can also be spotted during the weekends in major cities.

How does one work?

1. It is assumed you are male and have an urgent need to pee
2. You approach a plaskruis and stand on the little ridge on either (free) side
3. Open your fly and pee in the hole. Sometimes, anti-stench tabs are present
4. Shake off, zip up and walk away.

The naieve visitor will take this all in with a sense of wonder and admiration. Free peeing crosses in the streets! These Nederlanders are god-like in their cleanliness! The truth is a little more nuanced though. There literally are no public bathrooms in Nederland. And if there are, they are filthy.

For women, this is a problem. So they use bathrooms in restaurants and hotels (which works great). Male Nederlanders in a pinch (har har) might be tempted, and often are, to use a tree, building, tourist or bicycle as urinal however. For these situations, the plaskruis is available.