Sure, lots of stores (mostly supermarkets) in other countries have coupons. But the amount of coupons in .nl is just way out there. For starters, every supermarket has ‘em. Some supermarkets offer a choice between coupons for purchase (koopzegeltjes) that have interest, and freebie zegeltjes. The freebie zegeltjes give you a discount on a next purchase. Then you have summer zegeltjes, EK zegeltjes, winterzegeltjes and who-knows-what zegeltjes.

Often you can combine these zegeltjes to end up at a lower (i.e. better) price.

Other times you collect zegeltjes and trade them in for products (i.e. cheap shit) or discount for something unrelated (e.g. amusement park).

Beware though for the special kinds of zegeltjes: they are ofen valid for a limited time, you need at least one zegeltjesboekje (coupon booklet) and you have to paste the coupons in the boekje a certain way. Case in point are Albert Heijn‘s zomerzegeltjes, that give you €5 discount but only for a completed booklet. Miss one zegeltje and the thing is worthless. One day over? Same.

Whatever happens, always accept the zegeltjes at the cash register. You might not want them, but the person coming after you does. Give your zegeltjes to him/her and say “alsjeblieft”.

But not only supermarkets offer zegeltjes, oh no. Gas stations, pharmacies, hairdressers, well just about any kind of retail environment really. But it does not end there. Many products have zegeltjes, such as Douwe Egbert’s coffee. The zegeltjes are printed on the package, you cut them out and put them in a jar. Every five years you have enough zegeltjes to cash in! Bring the jar to the Douwe Egberts store and cash them for ….. a nifty Douwe Egberts jar to collect zegeltjes! How brilliant!

This is not a paid ad, but chain store HEMA is the pinnacle of Nederlandness. It doesn’t have Nederlandse in its name, but it does have the A for Amsterdam and the rest of the acronym sums up our attitude nicely. Cheap prices!

I am only half-joking. HEMA stands for Nederlandse Eenheidsprijzen Maatschappij Amsterdam which used to mean all prices were multitudes of 10 cents. They’ve long since abandoned that concept, but the name has stuck. HEMA can be found in every city in .nl, even smaller ones, and there are also stores in Belgium and Germany.

Entrance to the HEMA store in Amsterdam, Ferdinand Bolstraat

Everybody shops at HEMA. And when I say everybody, that is exactly what I mean. Even Princess Máxima does so. The stores are a mix between Wal-Mart and Urban Outfitters and offer basic household items: kitchenware, bed linen, small appliances like blenders, cutlery, but also food. A famous item is the ‘Gelderse Rookworst’ or simply HEMA rookworst. A steaming hot sausage–a good example of typical Dutch food.

Since HEMA is cheap and the quality is good, the chain has been a hit with Nederlanders for many years. Recently they have been restyling their stores, which are now sporting great interior and graphic design. Still HEMA is a store for the masses. I would say half of Nederlandse men have HEMA boxer shorts (I certainly do).

Case in point, and something that actually happened to me. Picture a small boutique with husband and wife behind the counter. Wife is handling one customer’s purchase; husband is doing other stuff like folding clothing. He happily ignores the customers waiting in line behind his wife.

The customers waiting in line, in turn, happily ignore the potential service they are missing. When the wife is done with one customer, the next in turn puts her items on the couter. All this time, the husband continues folding as though nothing outrageously rude is going on.

In the US, I believe this would not ever come to pass.

Yet in Nederland it’s par for the course. Naturally, it varies per store. Per city even. People coming from outside Amsterdam will say Amsterdammers are more friendly than ‘their own’ clerks. But the same is true the other way around. The fact is that most Nederlandse store clerks have no idea what customer service is. You would do good to keep that in mind during your next shopping spree.

Cheese is in every household in Nederland: it has been a very basic foodstuff for centuries. As you probably know, Nederland is one of the biggest dairy exporters on the planet. Our prototypical cows can be seen all across the country and supply a huge amount of milk daily (they’re inbred for their milk yield), supply manure for the crops and taste good as well (when grilled). It’s win-win-win, although they do produce a lot of methane.

Besides leaving the milk as-is or turning it into yoghurt we make cheese of it. Where the French have their Brie and Camembert, we have our Gouda. And just like the French cheeses, Gouda is named after a geographic area, a city in this case. You might think Gouda is a sort of open-air museum (especially if you’ve seen pictures of the cheese market) or some kind of industrial cheese factory. No, it’s nothing like that. Gouda is just a reasonably quiet city in the west of the country. Most cheese-making happens elsewhere, in the north of the country. Every part will have their own special variety, but all in all the Gouda type is pretty much the same.

It’s this Gouda (see pic above) that can be found in every refridgerator in Nederland. There are three basic varieties: jong (young), belegen (middle-aged) and oud (old). Young cheese tastes creamy, old cheese tastes hearty/salty. The really old stuff even has little crystals in it. In general, kids like young cheese better. Cheese can be bought in every supermarket and is often really cheap and really tasty.

Gouda deluxe

There are other varieties of Gouda as well; they are as common but not sold as much. There’s your boerenkaas (farmer’s cheese) which is made of raw milk instead of pasteurised milk and always comes directly from the farm. Boerenkaas is much tastier than normal Gouda and each brand is different. I am really not sure if it is safe for pregnant women or not; I have a hard time imagining anything from Nederland can be that dangerous, but it is made of raw milk after all. There’s also komijnenkaas: cheese with cummin seeds in it. Definitely an aquired taste, but still sold everywhere. There’s your goat’s cheese (white instead of yellow) and ‘luxury’ brands and low-fat cheeses with 20% fat contents. (Regular Gouda has up to 45%.)

All Gouda cheeses, when they are whole, are quite big, like a truck wheel. The cheese shop will cut these up for you on the spot. By some bizarre process, the salesperson invariably is able to cut off exactly the amount you wanted (or maybe 20 grams too much). Quite a feat considering young cheese is less dense and every kind of cheese is different in itself. You can also ask for the cheese to be sliced up (in plakjes). When you buy cheese from the supermarket, it’s already packaged in plastic; either whole or in slices.